The temptation of worry

Ok. So. One of my papers has been accepted for presentation at a conference in Dublin in June, and I've applied to my Institution as well as Department for a travel grant, a relatively paltry 365 pounds. And I'm already worrying and getting prematurely upset that I won't get the money.

Upset with the School because their rules state each person may only apply once per year, with no restrictions as to amount, irrespective that X may travel to sunny Florida and Y to soggy Kent.

Upset with the Department because another colleague (let's call him/her A) got money, and his/her airfare to the US alone cost my total amount, which covers accommodation, food etc. I'm upset because 1) Being a first year, A was strictly not eligible for Dept funds, 2) A was attending a graduate conference in a small university whereas I'm attending an international conference, and 3) A was presenting a paper unrelated to his/her thesis, whereas I am. *foot stomp*

I want to be clear that A is my friend and my upsetness is not directed at him/her whatsoever. No, I'm upset with academic institutions who so blatantly demonstrate a lack of stewardship of scarce resources in this regard.

I'm also upset with myself for being upset, because hey I don't even know the results of my application yet! I'm just imagining worst case scenarios - my prayer partner, Ash, once said that this can alternatively be described as looking for trouble. I'm also upset with myself because my worrying means I don't have faith that God will provide, and I should have faith.

Anyways, venting aside, I'm curious. What do people think is the Christ-like response to injustices in life? Should one be meek and accepting/submissive and not get embroiled in office politics? Or should one speak out for the sake of what is right (and then definitely get embroiled in the ensuing unpleasantness)?

*ah, when Biblical principles get tested in real life, that's when the cookie crumbles!*

What do people think?

Reading over this post again, I am struck how mundane and petty it sounds. So many people spend their whole lives scrambling over petty little things, holding petty grudges, chasing after inconsequential things. But I think you lose sight of so much this way. Wasn't it Jim Elliott who said, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."?

God's bigger picture is important to me, but I find myself following it with self-righteousness and a narrow heart. Lately, I've discovered myself squabbling over petty things like housemates using my milk, unsmiling service staff, elusive supervisors, the bank, the tube, the bus, London... and money.

A complaining, unfree, heart. I would really hate being like that forever.

Do you feel like that too? Then I pray that the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard our hearts in Christ Jesus. I pray that all petty things will fade in the light of the glory of God. I pray that His joy will fill our hearts so that evil thoughts will be banished. Lastly, I pray that when we fail in all this, that we will remember that His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses.