Finding Peniel

Darcey Bussell in Giselle

Went to the ballet last night at the Royal Opera House and really really really enjoyed it. Darcey Bussell was dancing in Giselle. Here's a little blurb:

"The peasant girl Giselle is driven to kill herself when she discovers that her youthful lover 'Loys' is in reality Count Albrecht, and not free to marry her. She rises from the dead to prey on the man who has betrayed her. But as Albrecht, repenting, visits her moonlit grave, Giselle protects him from the deathly touch of her phantom sisters until the dawn sees him safe once more."

I used to think that Giselle forgives Albrecht too quickly and too easily in the second act. But last night, I remembered that Jesus forgives just as quickly and easily, because of grace. What struck me more last night was Albrecht's prolonged agony after that, and his struggle with the ghostly phantoms. It is harder for us to forgive ourselves, isn't it? We struggle with our own morality, and with facing the world in our shame. We struggle with accepting that a righteous and perfect God would ever forgive us. Such is love.

Love. I don't know what it is any more; I don't trust myself. I am so confused at the moment. So you know what? I have decided that I am going to turn to the only One I trust - if He is on my side, who can be against me? Bring it on, I say!

I give You all my dreams, all my hopes, my whole life. Only do not leave me or forsake me. Bless me.

"I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." (Luke 18)