Musings about the simple things in life

Right. I think I've reached my quota for emo posts this year. Either that I should quit while I'm ahed. My life's not that soap-dramatic anyway (I wish!).

So, what did I do today?
- read very nice email from blog penpal (you know who you are!)
- lunch meeting
- emo moment
- prayed, emailed best girlfriend, talked to best girlfriend in London
- decided to fight one battle at a time, by faith
- went for a brief walk
- came back to office, wrote 1000 words of new chapter - hoohah!
- cared for a friend, remembering Romans 2:7
- did full workout at the gym - hoohah!
- came home, made dinner - my own version of huevos rancheros
- watched Newsnight and The Apprentice USA
- currently editing India photos
- general mood: holding tightly onto the Cross of Christ

(edited) My psalm

An old-suitor-turned-best-friend didn't pick up my call today, because (as it turns out) he was out on a date with someone else. [Edit: He says that he didn't pick up because he was in an art gallery...] Just surprised at the gamut of feelings that ran through me, especially given that I was the one who wanted to remain just friends in the first instance. Would I have done the same thing in his shoes? I don't know, but it hurt a little, and I felt very un-grownup about it indeed. Grownups know how to be mature about such things, how to let go, how to trust God; they are rational and self-controlled, and their emotions don't go haywire for no apparent reason like so. I guess, as a woman, you always want to know that you are a priority in somebody else's life, and when that is taken away from you, a lot of old feelings are dredged up. Unlike a blog, the past can't be erased - suck it up, or let it suck you up. So you decide, c'est la vie, remember what's important, move on. At this point, you have a choice: either you seek validation in someone/something else, or you go to God. Of course, being a good Christian girl, you go to God, but there's always a little place at the back of your heart where you still wish, just wish, that there was someone. You could have everything going for you and all the friends in the world, and yet it's still there, that space in your heart, reserved for God's best. You cry because you're afraid. And then you reach a point when there is nothing else to do but offer that up to God as well, because you fear Him more.

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." ~ Hebrews 11:6

To a beautiful woman

"Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

~ Elizabeth Stone

Dear mum,

You have been my example of a gentle and quiet spirit through the years - thank you. Blessed Birthday!

Me xx

"I remember my mother's prayers and they have always followed me.

They have clung to me all my life."

~ Abraham Lincoln

(edited) It's good to be home!

Hello everyone. Sorry for the blog silence. I've been in India for the last two weeks!

Touched down at Heathrow on Sunday afternoon and promptly fell asleep. It's good to be back. India was an amazing experience, and my team was the best team I've ever worked with - pics soon! Miss the children already, although cannot say the same about sanding and plastering.

I made some good friends, came to understand and love some old ones more.

These last two weeks were also about spiritual growth and knowing God better. He answered many prayers - I really shouldn't be surprised - and yet others.

I feel ready to move on now, to begin the last year of my PhD, to forgive. The thought that perhaps everything that happened this year happened because it was necessary for me to come back to Him. For the first time, I am able to give thanks.

I'm back now, back in London, back in His presence.

I've come home.

Seafood lasagna I made for last night's Fellowship Group - the blackish bits aren't burnt; it's garlic spinach